twothirds

Toward the end of 2004, I had my resume posted on various job boards since I wanted to make an employment change. Although I have not updated my resume since November or logged into any of the job boards, I still get a lot of recruiters calling or emailing me. Since this one was so bad, I decided to post it here.

From: Ram Ne… to jed_dice.com

Hi,

How are you doing?

Here it’s requirement details……….Intervowen Teamsite, Please forward your updated resume ASAP, If you could make some updations based on the requirement details to focus on much on skills in your resume, it’s really appreciatable.

Location : St. Louis, MO

Duration : 6-12 Months

Rate : $45/Hr On CTC/1099

Technical Skills:

-Java/J2EE Developer with Intervowen Teamsite, Perl, UNIX

So far, I have found the following things wrong with the email:

1. On my resume, I clearly indicated that I was not interested in contact work, yet I am being solicited for a contact position.

2. Interwoven makes TeamSite–not Intervowen
3. appreciatable???
4. updations???
5. I live in CA. Why the hell am I going to go to MO for $45/hour
6. General sentence structure and grammar is horrible

I think a 10 year old could draft a better job req that Ram.

I returned to Old La Honda today. While I was not sprinting, I was not taking my time either. My final time was 24 minutes, or 4 minutes better than my previous trek in May. I probably would have broken the 24 minute mark, but some wet pavement caused some slipping during my final push to the line.

I am curious if my new bike (or my new wheel), which should be here next week, will get me up any faster.

I am officially fed up with the rear wheel on Big Red. The seam on the rim likes to make a creaking noise during each rotation. You can hear me from a mile away. It is not fun.

The bike shop was unable to fix it during a recent tune up, so it is time for something new. I should be getting a new bike any day now, but most of my commuting and bad weather rides will still be on Big Red. Since I weigh close to 200 lbs, I have had some bad luck with wheels. My bike originally came with Mavic Heliums, but I blew through those in about a year and a half. Luckily, a bike shop guy wanted them for parts, so he traded two broken Heliums for a hand-me-down rear wheel. Well, the hand-me-down will soon end up in the trash. I just placed an order for a custom wheel from Excel Sports. In a week or so, I should have the following:

Quantity        Cost            Description
       1       $64.95  Shimano Ultegra Hub Rear, 32 Hole
       1       $69.95  Mavic CXP-33 Road Rim, 32 Hole
       32      $24.00  DT 14-15g Double Butted Spoke
       1       $0.00   Rear drive DB 14/15 spokes
       1       $0.00   Rear non-drive DB 14/15 spokes
       32      $6.08   DT 14g Alloy Nipples Short, Silver
       1       $0.00   Rear drive 3x laced spoke pattern
       1       $0.00   Rear non-drive 3x laced spoke pattern
       1       $15.00  Labor Wheel Building
       1       ($18.00)        Wheel Discount

Shipping:       $11.00
Tax:            $0.00
Total:  $164.98

I am a big fan of chamois cream. Maybe my fit is a bit off, or maybe I just wear the wrong gear, but if I ride ~5 days a week, I will blister and chafe without some ‘taint lube. If you ride multiple times in a week, my guess is that you probably lube up as well.

I was at the bike store today picking up “Big Red” after a tune up. Since I am low on Chamois Buttr, I picked up a can of “Assos” and realized I am paying entirely too much for this stuff at $20/140 ml. Whenever there is a niche market, such as the lube-up-your-nether-region-before-cycling-market, you are always going to be paying too much money for too little product. The trick is to find another market with more buyers and a similar product in hopes of a lower price point.

For example, let’s examine bike degreasers. The cheapest “bike” degreaser is probably this stuff from Performance at $5/16 oz. Since other things besides bikes tend to get dirty, you can easily substitute a generic product. In this case, you can go down to your local Home Depot and pick up a gallon of Simple Green for $20. When you compare the cost of 8 bottles of the “Bike” cleaner at $5/bottle, you will pay $40/gallon for that product. By purchasing a generic product, you save $20! (Note: The degreaser at Performance is very cheap. At an LBS, this may be as much as $10/bottle.)

Back to the ass lube.

I do not have a kid, nor do I spend a lot of time around my friends kids, but for some reason, I am pretty sure that Chamois Buttr smells like diaper cream. My “theory” is that diaper cream will do just as good a job at keeping my ass happy, as an overpriced $20 balm from a cycling specific company. At a grocery store, I was able to get a 2 oz tube of diaper cream for ~$3. When you do a price and size comparison between the two products, the end result is diaper cream for 1/3 the cost of chamois cream. While paying less money is a good thing, only time will tell if this product will work on my tail. More information later after a few test rides…

I pulled the trigger.

I was trying to decide between the Tuscany and the Teramo, but when it came down to it, I did not need the extra flair and I really need that extra grand for a new couch

Better yet, I will actually be able to ride the bike before I buy it. The shop owner is going to order it and let me test ride it before I plop down the money. (This is rather rare for a large bike.) Why did I go with this bike?

• It is Ti. I want Ti since, in theory, it will last forever with the 3Al/2.5V tubing. No longer do I need to pray to the patron saint of baggage handlers when I travel with my rig.
• The geometry is not perfect for me, but it is as good as a stock bike gets.
• The compact geometry should be a bit stiffer than the Tuscany (in theory).
• I really liked the bike shop (Bici Bike in South San Jose). The shop has ZERO mountain bikes.

Hopefully, in a little under two weeks, I will be riding my new chariot (and sitting on my new couch)!

I had a revelation the other day. My race in August only has 56 miles of cycling. For whatever reason, I thought it was 66 miles, which would be an extra 30 minutes on the bike. This will be the longest I have ever biked during a race. Previously, my longest bike distance was various Olympic Triathlons (40k). I still have not gone much further than ~45 miles in one session, so I really need to up the mileage this weekend.

So I have it in my head that I need a new bike. The only problem is that I come from the land of giants. All you “normal” people out there have it easy. Not only are 90% of all bikes made for you, but you can actually test ride a bike. Any bike I purchase is going to be sight unseen and unridden. For me, buying a bike is a bit of a crap shoot.

To make matters worse, I come from the land of mis-proportioned giants. I have an abnormally long torso which makes bike selection even more troublesome. Using the fit calculator at competitive-cyclist.com, they recommend the following:

Seat tube range c-t: 59.8 - 60.3
Top tube length: 62.5 - 62.9

No, those numbers are not reversed! I really do need a 62+cm top tube. I could go custom, but that is a road I rather not go down.

The one thing I do know is that I want titanium. Steel does not scale to my size of bike, most carbon bikes do not go up to my size, and I am sick of my current aluminum ride.

In fact, my current ride is so rigid…

[audience] “How rigid is it?”

It is so rigid, when I ride over a quarter, I can tell you the year it was minted!

OK, so it is not that bad, but with my long torso comes back problems that I hope a more forgiving material will alleviate. So what are my options?

I am considering a Litespeed Tuscany or Turamo. Litespeed tends have longer top tubes, but they still might not be long enough. The Tuscany is a bit short on the top tube, so it probably will not work for me. The Turamo is a compact geometry, so a fit wizard might be able to get it to work for me. Another option could be something custom from Seven, but my employers stock price is not high enough for that right now
The search continues…

Oh, I also need a new couch. That purchase will suck.

The other day was a bike to work day. The morning edition was pretty insignificant except for the rain. (Yes, more rain!)

On the way home, I took the “rural” route along the foothills to get a few extra miles. As it turned out, this was a good thing since this route passes by my favorite bike shop. I was in need of my favorite bike shop since my rear derailleur cable snapped at Foothill Expy and Arastradero. Buh!

This has not been a good bike year for me thus far. Over the past 500 miles and 2-3 months, I have had the following happen to me:
o Broken spoke
o Flatted-out and stranded
o Broken chain and stranded

Talk about bad luck!

When your cable snaps, you are not totally screwed. The bike is still ridable, however, you are stuck in your smallest cog for the rest of the ride. Assuming there are few mandatory stops (lights, stop signs, etc) and the ride is flat, you should be able to make it home, albeit with some very sore legs.

Since I had 10 miles to go and a lot of stop-lights, I decided to stop at the Bicycle Outfitter and plead for some drop-in assistance. (If you live in the South Bay or peninsula, I highly recommend this shop. They have never disappointed me.) Anyway, my pleading worked; $22 later (+ gracious tip), I was on my way back home with a new cable. I can’t wait for the next adventure…

With two round trip bike commutes and a 40 miler today, I was able to get in my first 100 mile week in about two years. The theme of today’s ride was wind!

I struggled up King’s Mountain and went back down taking 35 to 92. Going down was a white knuckler with a death grip on the bars so I wound not be tossed like a rag doll in the 30+ mph wind gusts.

I had a bit of a downer early in my ride–my rear tire went flat. The AIDS Ride from SF to LA happened to be riding the same route I was on, so there were a ton of SAG wagons on the road. Most of the SAG drivers were pretty cool and offered to help me even though I was not part of the ride, but one of the drivers gets the “dick of the week” award. She stopped and asked if I was with the ride, but when my answer was “no,” she drove off without even asking if I was OK. So much for charity…

When you own domains, you tend to get really weird emails. I use a garbage yahoo address for all of my domains so I do not have to deal with a crap filled inbox. Sometimes I actually read the emails which generally consist of people trying to sell me something such as cheap domain names, hosting, or even search engine optimization. This recent email from Nick D Randals of fminvest.com was a bit humorous.

I wonder how many people take him up on this offer? While 20x yearly revenue might entice someone to sell, does anyone really jump at 6-10x monthly revenue?

This next one pissed me off a bit. Not only did Mohammed Ahmed from QuinStreet email me a few times, but he actually called me!

What really pissed me off is that this guy wanted to do some sort of business development with me, yet he knows absolutely nothing about my site. I essentially hung up on the guy, so I am not sure what business he wanted to do, but I took issue with him since:

1. He used my whois information when a glimpse at my contact page will tell you the correct “human” address
2. My site has little to do with “Mountain Biking”
3. He kept asking who I currently used for ad serving

Any of those items could have been discovered after being on 3athlete for 20 seconds. I know I am wasting my energy typing this, but the next time you email me for some great offer, at least spend the time to figure out what I am about before you go and waste my time.